If you follow me on twitter you probably think I'm a hot mess. I've received so many tweets, direct messages, e-mails and comments from people who have been concerned if I'm okay. I've said to almost everyone, "I'm always okay".. because, honestly I know what I've gone through in life so far and I've always made it through. I'm very strong and I just have to keep reminding myself of that.
I'm very good at putting a smile on and not letting people see me cry or get upset. Yes, I've used twitter to express myself.. but, most people I'm around in person don't even realize anything is wrong. I was talking to one of the regulars at work and mentioned that I need to start working out again as a stress relief and he told me that I hide negative emotions so well because I never seem like I'm stressed or upset, I always seem happy.
Some people when they're upset they eat way more than usual and some people can't eat at all. I'm one of those people who can't eat if I'm really upset. I've lost weight within the past few days and I just feel weak physically. Sunday-Wednesday I probably consumed not even the normal amount of calories I'd consume in a typical day.
I went out for happy hour on Wednesday thinking that I'd have a few drinks, relax and not stress about things. But, not eating and drinking craft beers was not a good mix. I ended up getting so wasted off of 2 beers and a shot. I turned into a crazy, crazy girl. Not the good kind of crazy. I got into a huge fight with my parents over nothing. Then I finally broke down and admitted that I wasn't okay.
I woke up on Thursday morning and felt awful for allowing myself to be so weak. When I'm really upset, I shut myself off to anyone that's trying to be there for me. It's like I don't want to be alone, but I almost feel the need to be alone. I have to make plans just so I can force myself to get out and have fun.
As I said I didn't want to post about this again. It just happened.
Last night LBZ showed me this video and it instantly put a smile on my face.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I'm going to work on some posts so you don't have to read more lame posts from me. Thanks for sticking around!