Dear New Years Eve, You’re all I’m hearing about lately. I guess I was a success at being the life of the party. Everyone at work is used to the shy me.. One of the DJ’s even told me that he didn’t know I even had a voice.. Well, you brought out the wobble dancing, real good time girl that I don’t show often. Yikes.
Dear Blog, You need a major facelift. I’ve contacted SO many “blog designers” who are simply too busy to help you out anytime soon.. (I’ve been waiting for MONTHS on waiting lists).. maybe I should really focus on working on you soon.. without help. That might be a HUGE mess.. but, whatever.
Dear Detroit Red Wings, THANK YOU for that wake up call today about info on SEASON TICKETS. I’m hopeful even though I know I may be setting myself up for disappointment. I need hockey back in my life. Bettman needs to get his crap together. I hate him so much.
Dear Voice, Where are you? You’ve never left me!! All I’m left with is a sore throat and a bad cough. Thanks a lot…
Dear Lucas Blaze, I love you.. even though you thought it was so funny to tell me that in 5 year you wouldn’t know if you wanted to get engaged. Unfortunately, you’re a dude so I had to explain to you 2 hours later why I was so mad at you. I wonder how funny it would be if when you do pop the question “in the near future” if I told you I wouldn’t know for another 5 years. However, I’m not THAT big of a bitch.. You’re amazing to me almost always so I’m sure you’ll find a way to make it up to me.. Like going to the arcade and watching me beat you at ski-ball and air hockey. Wink face.
Dear Anyone who responded to my tweets about the 5 year thing, I’m glad that I have such wonderful people in my life that were clearly willing to be there for me. I was livid. Guys are complete idiots.
Dear School, I’m not looking forward to driving all the way out to you today.. You’re starting way too soon… I’m nervous. But, also excited. Weird.
Dear Papa, I’m glad you’re home from the hospital after going back for the second time after your surgery that was only 9 days ago. 67 is way too young to be in & out of the hospital so much. I hope you fight off this pneumonia in record time! I love you!
Dear Snow, MELT. Thanks.
Dear Summer, I’m pretty sure it’s almost time for your weather. This 30 degree weather crap has got to go. I hate wearing a coat and I have to wear like 3 north faces & my winter coat. Not digging it.
Dear Coffee, Keep me productive today. Keep me awake. Feel free to fight off whatever kind of cold I have while you’re at it.
Dear Kelly from Chicago Fire, REALLY?!?… LADY GAGA?! REALLY?!? You realize you’re sexy, right? You could have anyone. LADY GAGA?!?! Are you under a spell or something? What is wrong with you? I’m pretty sure she’s not really a girl.. and there is NOTHING wrong with gay people or transgender or anything like that.. but, LADY GAGA?!?! That’s wrong. So wrong.
Dear Anyone offended by my dislike for Lady Gaga, I don’t care. You’re probably just as weird. Just kidding, I don’t think anyone can be weirder than Lady Gaga.
Dear American Idol, I may watch you just because of Nicki Minaj. Her and I both share a major lack of love for Mariah Carey. I don’t dig people who are so obsessed with themselves. Nick Cannon even said she’s not a “hands-on mom” & that they
make love have sex to her music. Not normal.
Dear Kimye (or whatever Kim & Kanye are called), Good luck with this child. Very terrifying considering Kim didn’t even have time for a kitten and gave it away after a week.. and then it ended up dying. But, I guess if you’re legally still married you can’t trap someone in a marriage.. so getting knocked up will keep him for 18 years.. but, he knows all about it considering he wrote that one song about Kim… or maybe it’s just weirdly fitting.
Dear Friday Letters, Sorry that you’re kind of a little on the honest side today. I’m feeling sassy.