Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Nutcase

Even if I wanted to write posts, I have had absolutely no time.
Seriously, I’m getting 2-4 hours of sleep a night. I’m exhausted.
It’s playing games with my head. I’m emotionally and physically drained.
I just want to spend some time cuddling with my Lucas Blaze and watch Breaking Bad.
Thank god, after work that’s what I’ll be doing. Well, plus homework.

I’ve been stressed and not myself lately.
The other day I was texting Luke on his lunch break.. why is it a lunch break if it’s at 10:30pm.. hmm.
Well, I was telling him how I was stressed and full of anxiety. He asked me what was causing this.
Of course I say, “Nothing.” He said some cute things and ended with, “Talk to me. Don’t do that to yourself”..
And, it hit me. I honestly hold everything in until I can’t anymore and then I break down.

I keep having little moments where it’s like a preview of a mental breakdown.
Saturday night I was laying on the opposite side of the couch and Lucas comes over to me..
And he starts trying to playfully annoy me by saying “MY BUBBA BUBBA BUBBA!” over and over again.
What did I do? I started crying. Not kidding.

I need sleep. I need my love. I just need to clear my head.

So, I’m off to read a little and get a few hours of sleep before it’s back to work.

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4 comments:

  1. Aw, I hope you get a day to spend on just you soon! I'm so sorry it's overwhelming. I do admire your determination though! xoxo

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  2. Awe hope you feel better!! I'm like that too with the random breakdowns. I wish I could say it gets easier, but in reality we just get tougher. You'll be alright.

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  3. Slows breaths throughout; this too will pass. The Perks of Being a Wildflower is a good choice to help you get there.

    Tara

    http://tarabelle-adropofink.blogspot.com/

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  4. Deep breaths girl...you've got this!! :)

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