Thursday, September 13, 2012

How To Be A Fashion Blogger

From a non-fashion blogger.

First.
You’re going to find pants, a few shirts and any jewelry you can manage to find. Anything goes.


Second.
You must make your hair look like a character Dr. Seuss would create.


Third.
Get all awkward, set up your camera and be a little fashion trend setter!

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Make sure to include a tiny bit of your face. It adds to the overall quality of the photo.
You also want to edit your photo, a LOT. This is not for Facebook. It’s for your FASHION BLOG.

 

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Hold your waist to make it look like you’re so skinny you’re going to break…
… Or whatever the reason that they do that pose..

 

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A photo like this will show off a different angle of your outfit.
You can tell your readers it was an accidental photo as you were leaving the house.
Make them believe that this is what you wear to take the kids to school/walk the dog.

 

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When wearing designer clothing ALWAYS show a proof picture of the label.
Also, if you wear a size XS you also have to show a picture of that.
If it’s an XS designer shirt, you’re already a pro fashion blogger.
No one has to know that this shirt is so huge it should be an XXL.. it says XS, show it!

 

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If you make the mistake of standing in front of a bright window.. just edit the photo!
Make it look all different and weird colors. Fashion is an art. Is that TEAL GRASS? Fashion!

 

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If your good camera isn’t charged and you have to use one from 2004.. it’s okay!
Tell your readers you wanted the picture to be blurry. It was intentional.
Explain to them that in fashion it’s not about clear photos.. it’s the vibe you get from the outfit..

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Always take photos like this.

 

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Take webcam photos like this. With a caption, “Bored! lol!”
You don’t want to do the kissy face.. but, you have to slightly do it..
It’ll make your cheek bones stick out and make your lips look larger.

 

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You also have to do this face. It’s a model thing to do.
If you want your readers to think you’re a fashion model, then do this.
No one want to see a model that looks pretty smiling. Just let your mouth hang open.

Well, there’s your quick lesson on how to be a fashion blogger.

However, I’m a lifestyle blogger…

As a lifestyle blogger.. webcam photos look like this…

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Oh, and by the way.. that shirt that’s an “XS”…
It’s awful. It’s SO big. That picture doesn’t do it justice.

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**If you were offended by anything in this post.. please read**

Please don’t take offense to this post. I’m not one of those “I hate fashion blogs” bloggers.
I realize that a lot of fashion blogs are amazing. They wear awesome outfits and take fab photos.
I made this after seeing so many other bloggers talk about how much they hate fashion blogs.
The blogs I think most of them are referring to are the ones that wear everything that doesn’t match.
You know.. floral shoes with leopard shorts, a striped tank top and a fur vest.

I’ll also go back to the XS comment I made.
I personally don’t care if a fashion blogger is 100 pounds or 300 pounds.
I have seen many girls showing off their small size clothing. Which annoys me.
Or super skinny fashion bloggers who Photoshop their pictures to look even skinnier.

 

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18 comments:

  1. Omg, hilarious! Thanks for the laughs this morning! What IS it about showing off sizes and labels...I don't get it. Don't even get me started on the duck-face! Lol :-) jenn

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  2. Lmao, I was like this has to be a joke hahah. I thought it was hilarious ;]
    xoxo
    Desirae @ Going with the Flow

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  3. Hahaha hilarious! I'm loving everything about this post!

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  4. This appeals to my interests- now following

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  5. You are hilarious. And BEAUTIFUL girl!

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  6. BAHAHHAH- thank you for putting into words what I didn't know how to!!!! I love you and your blog even more now!! :)

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  7. No offense to fashion bloggers, but this was hilarious.

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  8. OH MY!!! I just came across your blog and this post is hilarious!! hahaha!!! You nailed it right on when it comes to fashion bloggers ;) I think I love you. p.s. you really are a DOLL, how could I not follow you?!? ;)

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  9. Hilarious!! I put on a bunch of shit on that didn't match. I immediately took it off, because it looked ridiculous!

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  10. this is halarious!!!!!! Thank you for making my (slightly hungover) friday morning!!!!
    Nic xx

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  11. this is so on point. some of those blogs i love because i actually like the outfits for inspirations. but you are right, what is up with staring at the ground, barely showing their face, or the grab your waist to look skinnier thing? stupid. hilarious!

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  12. OMG I love your website. I will totally In love with it. All of the clothes and styles were very pretty.

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